Google
|
|
Daffynitions and twisted words
(Arranged alphabetically)
Select the letter that you want to look at:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z |
A Nose Spray Salesman: A guy who goes around sticking his business up other people's noses.
A-maizing: A shining pan.
AAAAA: An organization for people who are driven to drink.
Aardvark: You might think it is easy, but acting in a movie is AARDVARK,
Aaron: what the dentist tells the assistant before drilling, "Please turn the AARON."
Abalone: I ordered ABALONE and cheese sandwich at the deli:
Abandon : Bjorn Born always played his matches with ABANDON his head.
Abasement: The room under the house.
Abbot: a well-known phrase, as in, "I wouldn't ABBOT any other way."
Abed: One sleeping area.
Abet: One gamble or gam-bull.
Abhorrent: Hates paying the landlord.
Ability: What the pelican gets after storing some of Lipton’s bags.
Able: One male bovine.
Aborting: Bell that ends a pregnancy.
About: A prizefight
Abracadabra : Ooh, look at that dancer, you can see her knees. And look there !!! ABRACADABRA !! Can you believe your eyes.
Absentee: A missing golf peg.
Absolute: How a very short soldier greets a superior officer.
Abstain: To apply too much sun tan colouring to one's body.
Abundance: Big party held in a bakery.
Abut: A rear end or the end of a cigarette.
Abysinnial: "ABYSINNIAL in all the old familiar places."
Academy Awards: Idol entertainment
Accelerate: Price of speed.
Accessible: Approach a male bovine.
Accommodate: Going out with a communist.
Accompaniment: the worth of a firm, found out after losing an account.
Accord: A combination of three musical tones.
Accord: musical sound.
Accord: One rope.
Accost: A price of doing business.
Accounting: a-one, a-two, a-three, a-four...
Accredit: One loan.
Accrue : People who work on a ship .
Accrue: He hired ACCRUE to maintain the car during pit stops.
Accrue: Those who operate a vessel.
Accusatory: A charge against a British Conservative.
Achilles: God of heels
Acidity: Tea that dissolves.
Acidness: Monster in a severely polluted Scottish lake.
Acing: One song.
Acorn: One corn on your foot.
Acoustic: Most billiard pros prefer ivory in ACOUSTIC.
Acquaint: as in, "This is certainly ACQUAINT little place you have here."
Acquaint: I found ACQUAINT Bed and Breakfast near the beach.
Acqualntant: A species of tiny insect which you consider to be pleasing, odd, or antique.
Acrimony: The cost per unit of land.
Acrobat: The person who turns a flop into a success
Acrobatic: Ill draft animal.
Acrostic: An angry bloodsucking insect
Actor: A person who plays when he works and works when he plays.
Actress: Hair extension for the stage
Acuity: Tea that improves eyesight.
Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.
Acute: One cute person.
Adage: To become older.
Adder: One who does sums.
Address: A gown with a corporate logo.
Adicting: Drugged bell.
Adieu: What you say when you get married.
Adipose: Instruction to a model
Administration: Happens to a woman once a month
Admiration: used by backpackers when pooling resources as in, "How much do we have when you ADMIRATION?"
Admire: Add a bog.
Admission: Snack or potty break while watching TV.
Admissions: Increase military sorties.
Admit: Add a glove.
Admit: Commercial for gloves.
Admitting: Bell that rings to allow you in.
Admix: Add a mixer.
Adolescence: The age when children try to bring up their parents.
Adoption: To decide what should be included in a promotional campaign.
Adoring: One ring that acts as a portal.
Adultery: Putting yourself in someone else's position.
Adultery: The wrong people doing the right thing.
Adventure: A new marketing campaign.
Adverse: A commercial in rhyme
Adverse: A hostile song.
Adverse: Add another song.
Adverse: What you swear arch.
Advert: Add the color green.
Advertise: Something you do when you don’t want to look directly at someone
Advice: Phone book pages for massage parlors and escort services.
Advil: experimental community where residents pay no property taxes, but every square inch of sidewalk and wall space is filled with billboards and other commercial come-ons.
Advising: Song that gives advice.
Aerosol: The atmosphere of the sun
Affirm: The company you work for
Affording: Cheap bell.
Affording: One bell that wades across a river.
Afloat: One deer in church top.
Afrophobia: Fear of the return of 70's hairstyles
Aftermath: We have Phys. Ed. right AFTERMATH.
Afterthought: When to take action.
Against spelunking: Chinese has shut down.
Agate: The enterence to the ranch
Agency: Body of water near Greese
Agilely: Nimble Korean.
Aglow: One light.
Agonize: Aching eyes.
Agonize: what you get when your wife hits you in the face with an omelette.
Agony: Aching knee.
Agronomist: Fog on the farm.
Ahead: The thing on top of your neck
Ahem!: The bottom of a very short skirt.
Aides: Nurses' helpers who are HIV-positive
Ailing: Baby ale.
Aiming: Arrow vase.
Aiming: One Chinses vase that shoots straight.
Airless: Bald.
Aisle: "AISLE take you home again Kathleen."
Aladdin: "Don't wake up the maid, there's ALADDIN bed with her."
Alarm clock: A device for awakening people who don't have small children.
Alarming: Chinese vase that alerts the guards.
Alarmist: Easily scared fog.
Alcohol: A liquid that will preserve everything except secrets
Alcoholics Anonymous: An Irishman drinking under an assumed name
Alerting: Bell that rings warning.
Algae Bra: Mathematical breast coverings
Alienate: a science fiction term as in, "What happened when the ALIENATE those people?"
Alienate: The ALIENATE glass and steel for sustenance.
Alight: One glow.
Alight: What you need to smoke a cigarette
Align: The boy stuck in the well yelled for us to throw him ALIGN
Alimony: A contraction of "all his money."
Alimony: Bounty after the mutiny.
Alimony: The billing without the cooing.
Alimony: The bounty of mutiny
Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.
Allah: The entirety, as in, "Allah the sales staff made big sales today."
Allegro: "This potion will make a leg shorter and this one will make ALLEGRO
Allegro: One leg becoming longer than the other.
Alligator: One who makes allegations.
Allocate: To find Al Gore.
Allot: I ate ALLOT of food and got fat.
Allotment: "She may not say much, but there's ALLOTMENT."
Allowance: Permit Mom's sisters.
Allowing: A permissive bird.
Aloft: One loft.
Alphabet: The most aggressive wager on the table
Alpine: My boyfriend left me and ALPINE for him for a long time.
Alpine: The sad 2000 Democratic Presidential candidate.
Alta cougar: Old mountain lion
Alter ego: Pompous preacher
Alternation: Change the country.
Alternative: A person born during his parent's wedding ceremony.
Amatory: British Conservative in love.
Ambulatory: Walking Conservative British Male Bovine.
Ambushed: After running a mile, i sure AMBUSHED.
Amicable: Frozen exam.
Amity: Friendly tea.
Ammonia: "You are a princess and I AMMONIA man."
Amoebas: Very small sheep.
Amply: Electric Korean.
Ampoule: I got AMPOULE warning.
Anachronism: Uncanny ability for telling time.
Analyze: "I know Anna accused him of theft but we all know ANALYZE."
Anchor: A device designed to bring up mud samples from the bottom at inopportune or unexpected times.
Anchored: Be sure to make the package safe for shipping. Use both tape ANCHORED.
Andrew: "The artist took out a pencil ANDREW an etching."
Anemone: every crime-fighting super-hero has one
Angling: Baby Ang.
Animal playing: A sing automobile.
Annalist: List of people named "Anna".
Anomaly: Read by the priest on Sundays.
antacid: A caustic chemical derived from ants
Antacid: Hallucigen used by insects
Anthropology: Monkey business
Antidote: Demon acid.
Antidotes: My uncle thinks I'm just fine and my ANTIDOTES on me too.
Antimony: "I may be against working but I ain't ANTIMONY."
Antipasta: A hatred of Italian food
Aortic: Tic in the blood stream.
Apartment Building A place where the landlord and the tenant are both trying to raise the rent
Apartment: "Until you lose your hair, you never know how much APARTMENT."
Apathy: Pertaining to a trail.
Aperitifs: Two holdup men
Apiece: One portion.
Aping: One bell.
Aplastic Crisis: Maxed out of your credit cards
Apparent: Not using a condom is a sure way to become APPARENT
Apparent: To prisoners sleeper.
Apparently: One Korean parent.
Appeal: What a banana comes in
Approbation: Fear of early release from prison
Apricot: Where fruit sleep.
Aptly: Skilled Korean.
Aquarium: House of gill repute
Archaic: We can't have ARCHAIC and eat it too.
Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
Arcticker: Knight.
Argyle: I guarantee ARGYLE will be there before noon or the repair will be free
Armageddon: " ARMAGEDDON tarred of this life. Ah cain't hardly wait to die 'n' get reintarnated.
Armament: Hand I said, but ARMAMENT.
Armenian: I am trying to tell you
Arming: Explosive vase.
Aroma: Mother of scents.
Aromatic: An Italian bloodsucking insect
Arose: A sweet smelling flower with thorns
Arrears: My mom makes us wash in back of ARREARS.
Arrival Time: Your competitor's turn
Arrow: Items lined up in a straight line
Arson: Our daughter's brother
Arson: We are proud of ARSON and daughter.
Arthritic: A medical condition brought on by writing too many books.
Artichoke: An over-flamboyant strangling.
Artichokes: ARTICHOKES up whenever the TV camera is on him
Artifact: Information dispensed by gallery owners
Artificial: The person in charge of the exhibit of paintings
Ascot: "Mommy, Mommy, Johnny got his ASCOT in the revolving door."
Ascot: Bed for a donkey.
Ascot: I will never forget the day that my wife got her ASCOT in the toilet seat
Ascot: Where a donkey sleeps.
Aseptic: One tic in the 9th month.
Ashcroft: Top of an ash tree.
Asking: King of backsides.
Aspect: What you get when you bend over in a chicken run.
Aspen: Herd the donkeys into the ASPEN.
Asphalt: Blame the donkey.
Aspire: Top of a donkey church.
Aspire: Where dead donkeys are cremated.
Assault: My doctor put me on ASSAULT free diet.
Assemble: A donkey that looks like a male cow.
Assemble: To build a male cow.
Assert: "On the way home from work, I always take ASSERT so my old lady don't sm ell liquor on my breath."
Assert: Sore butt.
Assess: A female donkey
Assimilate: To pretend to be a donkey
Astir: One jail.
Astronauts: The only people to have gotten out of this world alive.
Astute - Sometimes accompanies an analog
Asymmetry: Where you bury dead people.
Atheist: A man who has no invisible means of support.
Atilt: One lean.
Atom: One man named Tom.
Atomicity: Nuclear tea or city.
Atomist: Subatomic fog.
Atomizer: Knight of grinding things up.
Atone: One musical note.
Atop: One spinning toy.
Atropine: One toe tree.
Attract: What was an Ark-itect.
Attune: One song.
Audi: A bellybutton that isn't an "innie."
Auditory: A loud British Conservative.
August: Wind in the 8th month.
Auto erotocism: Making out in a car.
Autobiography: Life story of a car.
Autohypnosis: Method used to stop engines from smoking.
Automobile: A mechanical device that runs up hills and down people.
Automotive: Why the car killed.
Autopsy: Ocean of car tops and body tops.
Autumn: When Mother Nature goes through a change of leaf.
Avail : Piece of cloth that stops woman from looking so ugly.
Avail: What a bride uses to cover her face
Avalanche: "Would you like to AVALANCHE with me?"
Averse: Criminal.
Aversion: A white lie is AVERSION of the truth.
Aversion: One side of a disputed story
Averting: Bell that avoids disaster.
Averting: Bell that prevents trouble, or one green bell.
Avidity: Tea that increases curiosity or cuio-city.
Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Avow: One oath.
Awaking: King of Travel Agents.
Awing: One wing.
Awkward: Toward the diving sea bird
|
Available Material:
|