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Daffynitions and twisted words
(Arranged alphabetically)
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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z |
Cabaret: Line of taxis
Cabinet: When your taxi trap has been sprung.
Cacophony: Display in a bakery window
Cadillac: A CADILLAC mean if you pull its tail.
Cadillac: I have nobody to carry my golf clubs.
Calamity: What bivalve mollusks rest their golf balls on
Caldron: Phoned Ronald.
Calendar: Something that goes in one year and out the other.
Calgary: What the Governor will be called if Mr. Coleman wins the election
Calming: Vase that reduces stress.
Campaign: Back ache from sleeping in a tent
Campus: The settlement cat.
Canard: I CANARD lee hear you over the running water.
Candied: title to property which is written on a metal container.
Cannibal: A guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.
Cannibal: a process for preserving golf balls.
Cannibal: A computer program, or act of a male cow on.
Cannibal: a process for preserving golf balls.
Cannibal: Magical Chinese vase.
Cannibal: Male cow in a can.
Cannibal: Resistants.
Cannibalize: What watched the safari from the bushes
Cannibals: Package of tennis balls.
Canopy: Unable to urinate.
Cantaloupe - Having to get married in church..
Cantaloupe: When you are unable to run away to get married.
Canting: Musical cylindrical container.
Capitol punishment:. Sending someone to Washington to serve in the government
Capitulate: put on the lid after the steak sauce gets on the tablecloth.
Car Pool: Where cars swim.
Carat: A really obnoxious driver.
Carat: Automobile's location.
Caraway: Herb much flavoured by vehicle repossessors.
Carburetor: Dr. Atkins for instance.
Cardinal: Checking all IDs in a liquor store.
Carding: Musical auto.
Career Girl: A woman who goes out and earns a man's salary instead of staying home and taking it away from him
Cargo: Green traffic light.
Carisma: My mother the hypnotic car!
Carload: Carl and I had bets all through the basketball season, and by the time of the finals CARLOAD me quite a bit of money.
Carnivore: A meat eating car.
Carpal: Share the Ride companion
Carpenter: A housepainter charges by the room and a CARPENTER by the vehicle.
Carpet: Favorite pasttime at drive-in movies
Carpet: What cars like to rub.
Carpetbagger: Somebody who keeps his pets in a sack while driving.
Carping: Very bases.
Carrie Okie: To carry the bass line of a four-part talentless group of Tulsa singers
Carson: Son of Karma or Carisma.
Cartel: Vehicle that can't keep a secret.
Carting: Ringing automobile.
Carton Bestowing: Bell or cat.
Carton: Heavy stig.
Cartoon: A musical car.
Cartoonist: What you call your auto mechanic.
Carty: Organ.
Casing: Musical luggage, or song #K.
Castanet: Primitive fishing method.
Castaway: Actors on vacation.
Caster: Spinner farm animal funds.
Caster: Spinning splint for a broken limb.
Caster: The entire ensemble prepare a cake for the star
Castigate: The bass-fishing tournament scandal.
Casting: Bee actors.
Castrate: Price for setting a fracture.
Castrate: Special hotel room charge for members of a travelling stage show
Castrate: Special price for hotel room for travelling actors.
Castrate: What every good fisherman tried to do.
Castrate: What the fly fisherman was finally able to accomplish after taking lessons on the proper use of his fishing gear.
Catalog: Whenever the animal shelter received a new feline, it was checked in by entering it's name on the CATALOG.
Catalogue: a record of kata performed during belt tests.
Catalyst: A record of your cows and bulls
Catamount: The number of kitties the mama gave birth to
Cataract: An expensive imported car in Japan
Catatonic: Your feline's favorite drink
Catty: Feline tea.
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
Ceaseless: Reason to start wearing eyeglasses
Ceding: Musical seed, or musical ocean, or musical CD.
Ceiling: Baby seal.
Celebratory: Cheering British Conservatives.
Celebratory: happy Conservative.
Cell Phone: Phone in jail.
Cell Phone: Phone sharings are dropping like a stone!
Cell Phone: Phone used by amoebas.
Celtics: What tick vendors do.
Cement: What the woman intended to say
Censor: To have snaked bull.
Cents: What beauticians don't have enough of to get jobs in the perfume industry
Certificate: An authentic knight.
Chafing Dish: A girl who has been stood up on a date
Champagne: Artificial window glass.
Checkerboard: The grocery clerk is tired.
Checkmate: A spouse in Prague.
Chesapeake: Chess tournament on a mountain top.
Chestnut: Crazy box.
Childhood: A juvenile delinquent
Childhood: Lack to bird.
Childish: A young plate.
Childish: Immature plate.
Chinescent: A musical demon.
Chinese fish: A fashionable.
Chinese grandy: Chinese vase.
Chinese Picnic: A wok in the woods.
Chinese: Asian knees.
Chipskate: Computer tightwad.
Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.
Chromatic: A machine for polishing bumpers
CIA agent: Aggressive Mafia leaves.
CIA agent: Opposed by ex with Swiss Chinese vase.
Cider: Along came a spider that sat down be CIDER.
Circuit Tree: Electrical tree.
Circus: A swearing Knight.
Cirrhosis: How dare you impugn those flowers' beauty? CIRRHOSIS are classic!
Cistern: Female sibling's opportunity.
Cistern: Your female sibling's time to choose
Cities: Teas drunk by sit down strikers.
City: Urban tea.
Civvy: Surrounds do to dog.
Claming: Shelled marine Chinese vase.
Classic: Dirty gobling a call on that paints adultry.
Classic: Ill draft animal that supporter.
Classic: When all your students are ill.
Claymation: The Dialogs of Play-Doh
Cleavage: The Parton of the ways.
Clewing: Flying detective.
Climate: The best thing to do with a ladder.
Climate: Before you snowboard down that hill, you must first CLIMATE.
Climate: What the adventurer at the foot of Mt. Everest was told to do
Climax: Mountain hiker's hatchet.
Clo-rox: Rocks the Army.
Clockwise: A person who always knows what time it is.
Clockwise: Aware of time remaining before class is over
Clor-ox: A male male demon address.
Clor-ox: Draft animal that cleans.
Closing: Musical garments.
Clouting: Musical clouds.
Co-Bra: Breast coverings that really bite!
Coaling: Baby coal.
Coaster: Rotating water/land interface.
Coaster: The wedding couple mix the batter
Coasting: Musical shore.
Coating: Musical jacket.
Cockney: To bend the leg joint; also a condition in which your leg joint resembles that of a rooster
Coconut : Someone who is crazy about hot chocolate
Coding: Musical encytption.
Coffee: A person who is coughed upon..
Coffee: Break Fluid
Coffee: The resident of Starboard tic.
Cogency: Smart ocean.
Cogently: Smart Korean.
Coiling: Baby rope.
Coincide: What you do when it starts to rain..
Coincide: What you should do when it starts pouring.
Coking: King of the drug cartel.
Collar: COLLAR and see if she can come over tonight
Collective Nouns: Fly paper, wastebasket and vacuum cleaner
Collide: To tell the same false story
Collie: Korean dog.
Colonnade: A laxative
Color: A pigment of your imagination.
Coloumbus: Electric bus that's all charged up.
Colt: The best way to drink beer.
Columbus: A bus that goes across the ocean.
Columbus: Mass transit vehicle that drives around the world, and unto
Columbusticle: A computer.
Column: My neighbor had picked out a name for a girl, but when she gave birth to a boy she didn't know what to COLUMN.
Coma: The mother who wouldn't go it alone.
Comatose: When your foot goes to sleep
Comely: Handsome computer, or a Korean computer.
Comet: A cleaner that's out of this world.
Comic Relief: When the Life of the Party goes home.
Comic Strips: What Woody Allen does just before taking a bath.
Coming: Chinese computer vase, or a computer in climax.
Coming: King of straws or lawyer associations.
Comity: Funny tea.
Comma: Mother of bees with a pachyderm's all parasite of clother.
Comma: Mother of people suffering spinning by Council, with a really
Commandmant: The insect at the head of the marching line gives directions to the others and is obviously the COMMANDANT
Commission: The chicken, and such things soaked in gravy.
Commodity: Tea of business men or traders.
Communist: A person who publicly airs his dirty Lenin.
Compel: Computer that controls you.
Compile: Stack of computers.
Comply: Wooden computer.
Compose: Demon maker.
Compose: Demon.
Compose: Downbeat Britainous demon.
Compromise: Lies about socialist ladies of the evening.
Concave: A sheep.
Concave: Against bell.
Concave: Against water programmer.
Concave: Aggress.
Conceit: Where the prisoner sits during an interrogation
Concentrate: Current wage per licence plate
Concentrate: Current wage per license plate.
Concere: A song.
Concerts: Breath mints for inmates.
Concur: Against dogs.
Condescend: A bumbling writing penny again.
Condole: A bull.
Condole: A drama student.
Condole: Big bread.
Condole: Bull that that sharply criticizes people away.
Condole: Nolonger surrounds of straws or acrobatic or
Condom: Swindled them
Conduct: Against ducks or pipes.
Conduct: Electric bus that mission.
Conduct: Electrical waterfowl.
Conduct: Fake people from souls.
Coney: Knee Co-op.
Confer: Against hair.
Confirm: A business run by prisoners
Confirmatory: British Conservatives running a criminal company.
Confound: Escaped prisoner recovered.
Confront: A criminal money laundering enterprise.
Conga: Against gas.
Congeal: Against geals.
Congenital: Friendly
Congenital: Sexual Organs of prison inmates
Congest: A prisoner who likes to tell jokes.
Congest: Against jokes.
Congratulatory: Acknowledging the achievement of a British Conservative.
Conifer: A hairy tree.
Conquest: Against adventures.
Conquest: In search of an escaped prisoner.
Conquest: Jokes.
Conrail: The actors such a mountry.
Conscience: That feeling that makes you tell your wife about something you think she'll find out about, anyway.
Consensual: Against sexual stimulation.
Consensus: A prison's population.
Consequences: Decorations used to spice up prison uniforms.
Conservatory: Preserve the British Conservatives.
Conserved: The time one by an inmate before parole.
Console: Against shoe bottoms.
Consummate: what the female Black Widow does when she's done with him
Contact Ting: Against polite Chinese.
Contact Ting: Chinese meeter.
Content: A fabric shelter for inmates.
Contour: Association.
Contour: Inmates speaking to children around the country on how to stay out of jail
Contraband: A group of Nicaraguan guerillas who play music
Contraceptive: An article to be worn on every conceivable occasion
Contract Ting: Against Chinese trains.
Contract Ting: Chinese deal maker.
Contraction: What criminals get when they throw out their backs.
Contradicted: Describes a woman spurning a man's sexual advances.
Contradictory: A British Conservative talking out of both sides of his/her
Contrail: A drama students.
Control: A short, ugly inmate.
Converse: Poetry written by prison inmates
Converse: Singing criminal
Converse: What deliver's down.
Convertable: Table that changes.
Convertible: Bull that changes.
Convey: Against veys.
Cookout: The reason the waiter never brought your meal.
Cooling: Baby Coo.
Cooping: Bell Co-op.
Coping: Bell Co-op.
Copper nitrate: Overtime for policemen.
Copulatory: British Conservative sex.
Copy: Urinating policeman.
Copying: Cloned Chinese.
Copyright : Ensuring that you donšt misspell the stuff youšre stealing!
Cording: Wanderwater that cleaning programmer.
Coring: Ring that drills into the Earth.
Corny: Knee of corn.
Corpus: Center of slime.
Correlations: Fraternizing with a fellow Marine.
Cosby: Bee comedian.
Cosily: Friendly Korean.
Costing: Price of a bell.
Cotton: 2,000 lb bed.
Cotton: 2000 pounds of small beds. .
Cotton: Very heavy bed.
Countable: Royal table.
Counting: Musical numbers.
Coupling: Sexy Chinese.
Court of law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners..
Courting: Dead someone.
Courtship: Chartered cruise boat for a group of judges
Covenant: An elder relative of a group of witches.
Coward: A song.
Cowhide: A way to keep your stock away from marauders.
Cowing: Flying bovine.
Cowing: Flying cow.
Cowling: Baby cow.
Cowpuncher: boxer who trains with cattle.
Cracking: Drug lord.
Cracking: Singing song.
Cramming: 2 bottles on you soar.
Cramming: 2 satirical, semi-relief pitcher full of cooking.
Cramming: A crowded vase.
Cramming: Vase filled with junk.
Cramming: Vase studying for a test.
Cranium: that portion of the zoo where there are cranes.
Crayola: The kickback the art supplies salesman gets from the retailer
Cream Mate: In favor of a male glove.
Creaming: Dairy vase.
Credit Cards: Due unto others...
Crib Notes: Baby music
Criming: Communicate.
Crocodiles: Calls from telemarketers.
Crocus: What a frog emits.
Crony: Knee of a crow.
Cross country: The Vatican.
Crossdressing: Disguise the limit
Crowbar: Where black birds get drunk.
Crying: Tearful Chinese.
CT: An antimatter drink.
Cuban: Forbid the letter between "P" and "R".
Cuisinart: Turns mommy's food processor into a spinning paint tool.
Curate: a doctor's schedule of fees.
Curate: Radiation has a better CURATE than drugs for your type of tumor.
Currant: A fat kills asleep.
Currant: Against belonger with a cold.
Currant: Ant the maker.
Currency: Ocean of money.
Current: The fee charged by Rent-A-Mutt
Curtain call: Stay in touch with the classic Saturday Night Live Cast
Curtain call: When the grim reaper knocks on your door.
Custom: Tom swearing.
Cutlet: When a chef gives himself a small nick
Cycling: Baby bike.
Cyclone: A copy bike.
Cyclone: Seymour"s genetically induced exact copy
Cynic: Someone who smells the flowers and looks for the casket.
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