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Daffynitions and twisted words

(Arranged alphabetically)

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  • Lab: A room full of icky, funny-looking creatures and the dead frogs they dissect.
  • Label: A male cow who's not a priest or minister.
  • Label: To quack against jokes you swear of a fish.
  • Labor Party: Party to celebrate the imminent birth of a baby.
  • Labor: Split-up song.
  • Labor: The 4th jail, alcohol vender, or a wild pig.
  • Labor: To have sex with a wild pig.
  • Laboratory: A chemistry Profs speech
  • Laboratory: A chemistry Profs speech
  • Laboratory: Where British Conservative scientists do experiments.
  • Labour: To have sex with a wild pig.
  • Lactic: The clock stopped working
  • Lactose: Person without digits on his feet
  • Lambent: A specialist doctor for the ears, noses etc. of young sheep.
  • Lame Duck: Politician whose goose has been cooked.
  • Lament: What a young sheep was trying to tell you
  • Landing: A controlled mid-air collision with a planet.
  • Landscaper: The Loam Arranger.
  • LaPlace transform: quick tidying up when company is expected.
  • Laptop:Lawsuit: Clothing worn in court by barristers
  • Laser: Has sex with that woman.
  • Laser: Knight of light beams.
  • Laundress: Garb for outdoor party
  • Laundress: Outfit she wears to a picnic
  • Laundry: Grass during a drought
  • Lavatory: A volcano
  • Lavatory: British Conservative bathroom.
  • Lavatory: British Conservative volcano.
  • Lavatory: Margaret Thatcher erupts.
  • Lawnmower: Weapon of grass destruction.
  • Lawyer: A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
  • Layaway: Vacation sex.
  • Laziness: The habit of resting before you get tired.
  • Lazy: Observes a demon the blame.
  • Lazy: One male hooker.
  • LBJ: Florida Keys.
  • Lead: A heavy blue-grey mineral most useful in imparting a sense of responsibility to those who love not wisely but other men's wives.
  • Leadin: Loud lette industry.
  • Leading: Clean.
  • Leading: Singing sheep.
  • Left Bank: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot
  • Left Bank; What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
  • Legalize: Prevaricating lawyers.
  • Legend: The narrow end at the top of a cliff
  • Leisurely: Robert E. LEISURELY knew the South could not win the war.
  • Lemonade: Government program to repair defective automobiles
  • Lemonade: Government program to repair defective automobiles.
  • Len Ding: Chinese glasses maker.
  • Lend Ding: Chinese banker.
  • Lenient: Your mother's sister after a few pints.
  • Lens Grinders: Weapons of glass production.
  • Lentil: To allow someone to borrow, expecting return of the item at a specific time.
  • Lesbian Cocktail Lounge: A Her-She Bar
  • Lesbian: A woman trying to do a man’s job
  • Lesson: A thong bikini
  • Letter box: Permission for a woman to fight
  • Liability: Expertise at telling falsehoods
  • Liability: Fibbing tea.
  • Liability: Talent for prevarification.
  • Liability: Tea that makes you prevaricate.
  • Liable: Fibbing male cow.
  • Libel: Another such male cow.
  • Liberal: A man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
  • Licence: Ability to tell when someone is not being truthful
  • Light Year: A regular year with less calories.
  • Lighthouse: Flare weather friend.
  • Liking: Satan.
  • Liking: Teller of the best tall story of the year
  • Lilac: Flower that is truthful.
  • Lilac: He's a mighty sweet boy except he can sure LILAC anything.
  • Lilacs: Flowers that prohibit you from fibbing.
  • Limbo: Place where arms and legs go when they die.
  • Limbo: Place where arms and legs go when they die.
  • Limelight: Low calorie 7-up
  • Liming: Singing apiarist.
  • Ling: Before devices.
  • Linker: Chain dog.
  • Liquidate: Two boozers go out on the town
  • Lite: A bulb that uses 22% fewer watts
  • Literate: To have eaten trash or garbage
  • Local Area Network
  • Local: Diet foods
  • Locale: How President Coolidge was greeted
  • Locate and Local: Calvin bumped into his neighbor Kate and said "LOCATE." Kate answered "LOCAL."
  • Locomotive: A crazy reason to do something
  • Locomotive: Crazy reason
  • Locus: To swear under your breath
  • Locust: A item on sale
  • Lofty: Uplifting tea.
  • Logarithm: A very heavy baton:
  • Logo: To go underground.
  • Loo Ting: Chinese vampire.
  • Loo Ting: Cleaning computer of an of straws or a wall.
  • Loo Ting: Santa Claus.
  • Loony: Knee of a toilet.
  • Loot Ting: Apine.
  • Loquacious: She bumped into me and I told her to LOQUACIOUS going.
  • Lord of the Rings: Telemarketers.
  • Loud sleeping: An amazing the same.
  • Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.
  • Lucidity: A comical song performed by Ms. Ball.
  • Lucifer: Hair of the Devil.
  • Lude: One Korean bad-asses.
  • Lumbago: An RV made of wood.
  • Lumbar Puncture: Drill a hole in a board
  • Luminescent: A shining penny.
  • Luminiscent: Having to do with the apparatus on which weaving is done
  • Lumper: Price of a lum.
  • Lying: A hostitute jumperson who fails.
  • Lysol: A sad shoe.
  • Lysol: Against pening of a merperson on that writers.
  • Lysol: An untruthful household cleaner.
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