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Daffynitions and twisted words
(Arranged alphabetically)
Select the letter that you want to look at:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z |
Packard: Brand of car favored by football players from Green Bay
Packed: Countainst wrongs.
Page: Knight workman.
Pain: "I'm tired of pain these high prices."
Paleontology: The study of history of CBS
Panama: Mother of a frying pan.
Panda: Father mathematician's glove.
Panda: Father of that pan.
Panda: Father of the mountain path.
Panda: Husband Acrobatician's glove.
Pandamonium: The black and white Chinese bears are groaning
Panhandler: What Tinkerbell wants to be.
Pantyhose: A sheer illusion of gauze and effect
Pap Smear: Slander your father
Paperboys: News casters
Par: The hole number.
Parable: Fibbing Chinese.
Parachute - Two guns
Paradise: What you shoot craps with
Paraffin: There were so many whacks in the rear of my '63 Cadillac, I took it to the body shop to see if they could rePARAFFIN.
Paraffin: What's on the sides of a fish.
Paraguay - Two males
Paralize: Two fibs.
Paraphernalia : An infirmity brought on by over exposure to candle wax.
Paratrooper: Military dropout.
Paratroopers: A couple of old vaudevillians
Parent: A bumblin.
Parent: To rent two things.
Parentheses: Within a mom's or dad's vision
Parenthesis: My female sibling is about to become a mother
Parenthesis: The brother and sister are each getting married and plan to have kids. The brother will make a great dad but I don't know what kind of PARENTHESIS will be.
Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.
Parking: A scratch golfer
Parsimonious: Having the taste of a persimmon, but only a little
Parting: Musical golf course.
Party Line: "Hey, Mom, I'm going over my friend's house to study."
Passing: Mother farm animal that copies on your pen more devices.
Passing: Satan.
Passport: Term used in cruise ship version of Monopoly.
Passport: To drive by the docks
Pastoral: Knowing what your spouse wants without her asking
Pastoral: The new reverend's name is Bert.
Pastoral: When you know what your spouse wants without her asking.
Paten: 10 Irish men.
Paternity Suit: Outfit purchased to wear to the hospital where your wife is delivering a baby.
Pathological: Being able to figure out how to get out of a maze.
Peacekeepers: Madames and pimps
Peanut: A crazy urologist
Peaty: Tea drunk by Peter.
Pebble: Small rocky bull.
Pecan: A bedpan.
Pedant: Boring ant.
Pekingese: Glance at a woman's' legs
Pen Ding: Chinese in waiting.
Pen Ding: Chinese jail.
Pen Ding: Chinese writer.
Pen Ding: Was a golf course.
Pen Pal: A cellmate
Penmanship: A cruise ship full of writers.
Pentecostal: five times pricier than ordinary religion
Peonies: What you'll get if you forget to pull your panties down in the bathroom
Pepper: Price of a pick me up.
Peract: Price of part of a play.
Percent: Price of a penny.
Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again
Percy: Price of an ocean.
Peregrination: A country of falcons
Peremptory: Conservatives in command.
Perforate: Price of holes.
Performing Arts: Garfunkel, Linkletter and Carney.
Perfume: how the angry method-actor gets paid
Permanent Location: Beauty parlor.
Permission: Price of the entire church.
Permit: Glove price.
Permute: Price of silence.
Perot: Price of a canoe or row boat trip.
Peroxide: Iıve been buying pelts for years and Iıll tell you thatıs a PEROXIDE you have there.
Peroxide: What a play.
Peroxide: Where you pee.
Persimmon: Richard the fitness guru carries a pocketbook
Person: Price of a male kid.
Person: Price of male offspring.
Perspirate: Price of sweat.
Perspire: Price of the top of the church.
Persuade: I wouldnıt wear those shoes. They are made of very PERSUADE.
Persuade: Soft leather used to make handbags.
Perverse: How a poet is paid
Pesky: A coloring bull of people and on the stuck.
Pessamist: What you can do when you're outdoors and have to pee and can't get home quickly in the fog
Pester: Country of dress in love.
Petard: Something that slows the progress of animal rights.
Petrie Dish: Mary Tyler Moore about 35 years ago
Petrie Dish: Mary Tyler Moore about 35 years ago.
Petty: Tea drunk by pets.
Petulant: Fussy pet ant, possibly a Pet Tard.
Pharmacist: Help in harvesting crops
Photo Finish: Matté.
Photo: Enemy foot digit.
Physiology: The study of carbonated drinks.
Picador: To see what prize you won, just PICADOR.
Piece rate: Cost per handgun
Piece rate: How quickly treaties are signed
Pig taunting: Chinese vase.
Pigmint: A fast.
Pilgrims: People who really hate to take Medicines.
Pimp: A crack salesman
Pimp: Piece negotiator.
Pimples: Small men who manage hookers.
Pinafore: She will be the fourth contestant. PINAFORE on her blouse.
Pinesol: A sad household cleaner.
Pioneer: barter exchange rate of pastries for corn on the black market
Pistil whipped: What it's called when when your lovely flower of a wife tells you to "Stay, man!"
Placenta: The middle act of a stage production
Plagiarism: Stealing a ride on someone else's train of thought.
Plaintiff: Argument on an air flight.
Plaintiff: Me with no makeup
Plantation: What the dimwitted gardener thought he needed to do in order to get more Asian neighbors
Please: "My house was robbed! Call the PLEASE!"
Plenty: A caffeinated beverage often drunk instead of coffee, served with no cream, sugar, or lemon.
Plowing: A farming bird.
Plumber: A drain surgeon
Pocket Ting: Where Chinese store their pens.
Poetry: Trees that rhyme.
Poison: Before bull.
Pokemon: You can't take that cue stick on the bus because you're liable to POKEMON in the eye.
Poker: Be careful that you don't POKER in the eye.
Poking: Chinese the off switch.
Polarize: What white bears see with
Pole Vault: What doesn't move of a wig - and as far back as a Pizza
Pole Vault: Where Santa keeps the presents on December 23rd.
Pole Volt: Electric Santa Claus.
Pole Volt: Wine on you soar.
Polecat: A feline from Warsaw
Politician: A man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it
Politics: Parrot who has swallowed a watch
Polynesia: Memory loss in parrots
Polynomial: Don't feed the parrot.
Polynomiial: A fasting parrot
POP Server: Mom
Poppycock: The rooster who is head of the family.
Population explosion: when people take leave of their census.
Portable: Low income table.
Portable: Opposite of Starboard table.
Porting: A bell with little money.
Porting: Opposite of Starboarding.
Porting: To bring the bells to port.
Post office: A place where all the mail is stationery.
Post Offices: Governmental stamping grounds.
Postpone: Crumbs left over after the last of the corn bread has been eaten
Potash: All that's left after you smoke the joint.
Poultry: A tree that grows birds.
Poverty: An outwageous condition
Praise: Letting off esteem.
Praline: How the lesser beasts worship King of the Jungle
Precede: Preparing soil for planting
Predicament: That embarrassing wait for the Viagra to kick in.
Preemptory: Conservatives replace a scheduled TV program.
Prefer: Before you grow hair.
Prefer: Dirty knight.
Prefer: State of a very young kitten who's fur hasn't grown yet.
Prefer: To have sex with a Monk-Key?
Pregnancy: An ingrown heir.
Pregnancy: When a woman is all swelled up from her mate's handiwork.
Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.
Prehensile: Before the story of the little boy and girl that ate the witch's house.
Prestidigitate: To use your calculater.
Prestidigitate; To use a calculator or adding machine
Prestidigitator: Someone with a painfully strong handshake.
Priesthood: A man of the cloth who works for the Mafia
Primate: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
Priming: First vase.
Principal: Companion to the kings son
Principal: Companion to the kingıs son
Prior: One who removes jar tops forcibly
Prison: The place you'd go only in a pinch
Probable: Likely male bovine, or in favor of gibberish.
Procession: Time with a tennis teacher.
Proctologist: A fellow who studies teachers who monitor test-takers.
Produce: Demon removes Asians.
Professor: One who talks in someone else's sleep.
Profound: Success in locating a hooker
Profound: We discovered an expert!
Profundity: A person who favors the singing of entertaining and whimsical musical numbers.
Progenitor: In favour of school caretakers.
Program: Advocate of the metric system
Programmer: Ocean of a for company.
Prohibitionist: A teetotaliarian.
Prolapse: Once around a NASCAR tract
Promenade: like lemonade, only served at high school dances
Promised: Likes fog.
Promit: Crminal openis.
Pronoun: A noun that's lost its amateur status.
Propaganda: A politically correct male goose.
Propane: A masochist.
Propane: My dentist doesn't believe in anesthesia. He's PROPANE.
Propound: English opponent of the euro.
Prorate: What call girls charge you.
Prostate: For regional government
Prostate: 10th Amendment advocate
Prostitute: Receiver of swollen goods.
Prostitute: Someone who sleeps using the Buddy System.
Protect: Demon.
Protect: Favor of an apine.
Protest: Wht they put rookies through in training camp
Protestants: Worker ants out to overthrow the Queen
Protocol: If you need technical support for your computer, you should know the right PROTOCOL.
Proton: In favour handbasket.
Provocation: Believes in hard work
Prudish: Plate that fears sex.
Prudish: Plate that's conservative about sex.
Psi-Clone: To make a copy with one's mind.
Psychologist: A person that pulls habits out of rats
Psychotherapy: a crazy way to spend your money
Pucker: Dog in the Army.
Puerile: A small land mass bounded on all sides by water, unsullied by disqualifying characteristics.
Pullman: Sexist carriage
Pullman: Sexist carriage
Pulmonary: Referring to Railroad Cars
Pumice: Smelly little rodents.
Pumpkin: Children of the pump.
Pumpkin: Children of Viagra.
Pumpkin: Trying to get information out of relatives
Pungent: Male member of PUNY
Punker: Pig the chinese owl.
Punster: Groan man.
Purchase: How Burt Reynolds was paid in Smokey and the Bandit
Purgatory: A British Conservative throws up.
Purgatory: Purging British Conservatives from my computer.
Purple: Tugging at a thug resisting arrest to get him into the police car,
Pursuit: The cat's pajamas.
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