Google
|
|
One Line Wisdom
(Arranged alphabetically)
Select the letter that you want to look at:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z |
A bargain: something you cannot use at a price you cannot resist.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory
A bath is something you take when you find yourself in hot water.
A beer delayed is a beer denied.
A Belgian stewardess fell in love with the automatic pilot.
A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.
A bird in the hand can be messy.
A bird in the hand will probably shit on your wrist.
A cat is an animal who never cries over spilled milk.
A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.
A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A computer is almost human - except that it does not blame its mistakes on another computer.
A computer operating system, once thought to be flabby and
A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
A critic is like a eunich: he knows exactly how it ought to be done.
A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine.
A day without sunshine is like --- well, night.
A Dog is the only true love that money can buy.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
A face can say many things. Especially the mouth part.
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his hot morning coffee.
A fool and your money are soon partners.
A fool is a man who worries about whether or not his lover has integrity. A wise man, on the other hand, busies himself with deeper attributes.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
A friend in need may turn out to be a nuisance.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
A good pun is its own reword.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A heart that is a mystic as well as a machine.
A hungry grizzly doesn't give a care about YOUR animal rights.
A job is nice but it interferes with my life
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep
A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
A man never minds being in the doghouse as long as he can get his tail outside.
A man who thinks he's God's gift should be taken back and exchanged.
A man will search 20 minutes for a golf ball.
A man's best friend is his Dogma.
A man's house is his hassle.
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
A mouse is an elephant built by the Japanese.
A new wine is about to be released as a result of NAFTA. The wine will be made in California, the cork will be made in Canada, the labels will be from Mexico, and the hangover will be from Hell.
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the ass.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A picture is worth 500 to 1500 words depending on how good looking you are.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A proud member of PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals.
A rolling disk gathers no MOS.
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
A sex scandle is pornography for prudes.
A smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight.
A snail raced by in a car with a large S painted on the door. Amazed pedestrians all cried, "Look at that S-car go!"
A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
A tragedy of mathematics is a beautiful conjecture ruined by an ugly fact.
A truly wise woman never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
A woman holds her liquor by the ears.
A year spent in Artificial Intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes.
A.A.A.A.A. - An organization for drunks who drive.
Abolish first marriages!
Abortion is a miscarriage of justice.
Above all else - sky.
Abstention is a vote in favour of the oppressor.
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
Adultery - Two wrong people doing the right thing.
After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
After any unit has been completely assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.
After I run your program, let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?
After the operation, I can see clearly now. The brain is gone.
Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind then it really doesn't matter.
Ah yes, it's morning and the sparkling dawn of a new error.
Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
Air pollution is a mist demeanor.
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.
Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
ALITALIA - Always Late In Takeoff, Always Late In Arrival.
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
All computers wait at the same speed.
All generalizations are false.
All I ask for is an opportunity to prove that money doesn't buy happiness.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
All men are idiots....I married their king.
All men eat, but Fu Manchu.
All stressed out and no one to choke
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
All the world's a stage and the people on it are poorly rehearsed.
All things are possible except skiing thru a revolving door.
All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
All those who believe in psycho kinesis raise my hand.
All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one's own.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
All work and no play, will make you a manager.
All your modeling jobs are for cartoonists.
All's well that ends.
Almost had a psychic girl friend once, but she left me before we met.
Always remember to pillage before you burn.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Alzheimer's advantage: New friends every day.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
An adequate bootstrap is a contradiction in terms.
An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize the President - but is always polite to traffic cops.
An apple a day makes 365 apples a year.
An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.
An Australian kiss is the same as a French kiss but down under!
An egotist thinks he's in the groove when he's in a rut.
An elephant is a mouse built to Mil-spec.
An engineer is someone who does list processing in Fortran.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
An expert is nothing more than an ordinary person away from home.
An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
An optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist knows it.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Anarchy is against the law.
Anarchy is better than no government at all.
And then there's the dairy farmers' hymn - "What a Friend We Have in Cheeses." ….and, of course, "blessed are the cheese makers for they are the curds and the whey"….
And which parallel universe did you crawl out of?
And why *DID* cats decide to become domestic animals?
Animals are more than food. They're also leather and fur.
Animals are more than food. They're also leather, fur, and feathers!
Anti-trust laws should be approached with exactly that attitude.
Any government that's strong enough to give the people everything they want is a government that's strong enough to take it away.
Any IC protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human.
Anyone whom, when you fail to finish something strange or
Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
APL is a write only language: You can write programs in it; but try and read them!
Arachnohomophobia: Fear of gay spiders
Archaeologists take sedimental journeys.
Archimedes had no principles!
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
As anyone here will tell you: I speak for myself.
As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. - Ellen Perry Berkeley
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
As my grandfather had said in his last words, "A TRUCK!"
As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code.
As Will Rogers would have said, "There is no such things as a free variable."
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
Aspirin makes a great contraceptive. Just hold it between your knees.
Astronauts are out to launch.
At our last party we were all making Mary, then we jumped for Joy!
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
ATTRACTION: The act of associating horniness with a particular person.
Average age of top GM executives in 1994: 49.8 years. Average age of the Rolling Stones: 50.6.
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Ax Me About Ebonics.
|
Available Material:
|