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One Line Wisdom
(Arranged alphabetically)
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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z |
Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
Bacteria: the only culture some people have.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Baseball's all wrong, no one could possibly walk with four balls.
Be careful with that saw!, Tom said offhandedly.
Be kind to animals, everybody. They're reincarnated relatives.
Be moderate where pleasure is concerned, avoid fatigue.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Be nice to your kids... they will pick out your nursing home someday!
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Beauty may be only skin-deep but ugly goes clear to bone.
Because if he were a teenager it wouldn't be any sacrifice.
Beer and Wheaties, breakfast of Champions.
BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.
BEER DRINKERS get more head.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Behind every successful man - a surprised mother-in-law.
Behind every successful man you'll find a woman with nothing to wear.
Being poor sure takes up a lot of a person's time.
Being stuck in an elevator with the Double-mint twins.
Belly dancing is where beginners start in the middle and work outward.
Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Beware incorrigible punsters. Don't incorrige.
Beware the shadows, for they hide...AUUGGGHHH!
Bigamy: One wife too many. Monogamy: Same thing.
Bill Clinton: Commander in Heat
Biology grows on you.
Birth control is avoiding the issue.
Birthdays are good for you - the more you have the longer you live.
Blame Saint Andreas - its all his fault.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Bloodhound + Borzoi = Bloody Bore, a dog that's not much fun.
Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly.
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
Bombeck's Rule of Medicine: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died!
Born-agains want to serve God . . . but only as advisers.
Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
Boston: An outdoor Betty Ford Clinic.
Boy and girl go camping together sure to have naughty intent.
Boy Hippie: a guy who looks like a Jill and smells like a john.
Brains are more useful if no one knows you have them.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
Bread that is cast upon water gets soggy and sinks.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
Bull Terrier + Shih Tzu = Bull Shih Tzu, a gregarious but unreliable breed.
Butter vs. Margarine? I trust cows over scientists.
Buy a Pentium Pro so you can reboot faster.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
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