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One Line Wisdom
(Arranged alphabetically)
Select the letter that you want to look at:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z |
C: Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Can you ever visualize the world without hypothetical situations?
Cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
Cannot find REALITY.SYS...Universe Halted.
Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man. Communism is the other way round.
Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
Carpenters are just plane folks.
Cat - (n) An Unprogrammable Animal.
Cat --- The Other White Meat.
Cat's urine glows under a black light.
Cat- (n): an unprogrammable animal.
Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. Krutch
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit. - John S. Nichols
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. - Joseph Wood Krutch
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
Caution -- Driver Legally Blonde!
Caution: I drive like you do.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.
Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
Charlie was a chemist, but Charlie is no more. What Charlie thought was H2O was H2SO4.
Chaste makes waste.
Chastity is its own punishment.
Chemistry professors never die, they just fail to react.
Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!
Chicken feed is what most of our nest eggs have turned into.
Children have more need of models than of critics
Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him.
Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen circumstances.
Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen events.
Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down - hence the expression "to get fired."
Clark Kent is a transvestite.
Cleanliness is next to clean-limbed, according to Webster's.
Cleanliness is next to impossible.
Cleveland? Yes, I spent a week there one day.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
Clinton is doing the work of 3 men: Larry, Curly, and Moe
Clinton: Our nations fondling father
Clones are people two.
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
Cobol programmers are down in the dumps.
COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.
COBOL programs are an exercise in Artificial Inelegance.
Coed dorms promote campus unrest.
Coffee, Chocolate, Men...... some things are just better rich
College professor - someone who talks in other peoples sleep.
Collie + Lhasa Apso = Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport.
Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work.
Coming soon from Microsoft Foods: Animal Hackers
Common sense is the least common of all senses.
Common Sense Isn't.
Computer programmers never die, they just get lost in the processing.
Computer Science is embarrassed by the computer.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
Computers can never replace human stupidity.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers Unite! You have nothing to lose but your operators.
Conciousness:That annoying time between naps
Condense soup, not books.
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
Confucious say too damn much!
Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife.
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Cosmetics: A woman's means for keeping a man from reading between the lines.
Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass?
Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal, if you are all thumbs.
Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your thumbs.
Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Cover Me -- I'm Changing Lanes
Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.
Crime wouldn't pay, if the government ran it.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
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