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One Line Wisdom
(Arranged alphabetically)
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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z |
Happiness is a positive cash flow.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike!
Hard where? Soft where?
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Hard work never killed anybody But why take the risk!
Hark! What mail from yonder modem breaks?
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like having a peeing section in a pool.
Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain or, having children will turn you into your parents.
Hawaii is as American as apple poi.
He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
He is not balding; he is in Follicle Regression.
He is not quiet; he is a Conversational Minimalist.
He is not stupid; he suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.
He who hesitates is last.
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
He who is flogged by fate and laughs the louder is a masochist.
He who is henpecked may lend an ear to other chicks.
He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
He who lose key to girlfriends apartment get no new key.
He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
He who refuses to listen is lying.
He would be out of his depth in a car-park puddle.
He's not dead, He's electroencephalographically challenged
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.
He, who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Heard on Noahs' ark: Sailing is fun, but scrubbing the decks is aardvark.
Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
Help stamp out and abolish redundancy!
Help stamp out philatelists.
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
Help! I'm modeming.... and I can't hang up!
henpecked husband, n.: One who's afraid to tell his pregnant wife that he's sterile.
Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.
Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch?
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Hire the morally handicapped.
History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.
Honesty is next to poverty.
Honk If Anything Falls Off
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
Hope that it is not your sole purpose in life to simply serve as a warning to others.
Horn Broken... Watch For Finger
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
How can we know we are smart enough to know how stupid we are being?
How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying? When his lips move.
How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
How come Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?
How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.
How do they get non-stick Teflon to stay coated to the pan?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you grow your own dope? Plant a man.
How do you ruin Polish party? You flush the punchbowl.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
How many priests are needed for a Boston Mass?
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
Human (n): Useful domestic animal popular with cats
Human, the only animal that can be skinned more than once.
Human: The only animal who can be skinned more than once.
Hunters make the best lovers; they go deeper into the bush, shoot more often and *always* eat what they shoot.
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
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