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One Line Wisdom
(Arranged alphabetically)
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Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. ....
Magic is always the best solution -- especially reliable magic.
Main cause of death for hummingbirds: Crashing ass-first into trees.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by ... well, it doesn't matter anyway.
Man who drop watch in toilet bound to have shitty time.
Man who sink into woman's arms will soon find arms in woman's sink.
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
Man's view of safe sex is a padded headboard.
Man, honest, will take anything.
Managing senior programmers is like herding cats. - Dave Platt
Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
Marriage is a 3 ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!!!)
Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.
Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
Marriages are made in Heaven. So are thunder & lightning.
Married people don't live longer than single people.
Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy!
Math is to physics like masturbation is to sex.
Mathematicians do it with a small, imaginary part.
May all your hang-ups be drip-dry.
May Allah blow sand in your Preparation H.
Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
Men have died and worms have eaten them -- but not for love!
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Microbiology Lab: Staph Only!
Microwaves frizz your heir.
Middle Age: Halfway between adolescence and obsolescence!
Midwest farmers are just plain folks.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.
Mind over matter - I don't mind, so it don't matter.
Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
Misfortune: the kind of fortune that never misses.
Mistress - Somewhere between a mister and a mattress
Mobius strippers never show you their back side.
Money is not everything. There's MasterCard & Visa.
Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
Money is the root of all wealth.
Money isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
More people have died in Teddy Kennedy's car than in nuclear power plants.
Mortician's daughters usually disappoint. Anyone cadaver.
MOST IMPORTANTLY: DON'T forward any of this to your boss by mistake!!!
Mother Earth is not flat!
Mr. Ranger isn't gonna like it, Yogi.
Mrs. Ghandi is in a sari state.
Musicians are just playin' folks.
My cat sucks lemons, the sourpuss.
My components are indiscreet.
My computer puts out.
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
My hometown is so tough, gun shops have "Back to School" sales.
My homework is like a juicy steak -- rarely done.
My husband said it was him or the cat ... I miss him sometimes.
My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips
My President Fooled Around with Your Honor Student
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
My VCR flashes 01:35, 01:35, 01:35, ...
My whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
My wife and I have sex doggy fashion every night. I sit up and beg she rolls over and plays dead!
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